Lessons learned about life, love, and forgiveness along a hard path. A guest posting…

A few days ago a dear friend of mine sent me the note below. I asked for their permission to post it here. They were kind enough to say yes. I know this person well. These are powerful lessons learned about life, love, and forgiveness along a hard path. I hope it helps you too. JR

I think a lot about forgiveness and God’s command that we forgive others. ( Matthew 6:14-15 NIV, For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.) Many times I have wondered how to completely let go of hurt. For years I claimed to have forgiven my dad for all of his shortcomings, however, in the back on my mind there was always the thought, “I forgive him, but I really wish things had been different.” Seeing someone have the kind of relationship with their dad that I always wanted always made me a little jealous. Fearing that I had not completely forgiven him, or that some bitterness may lie in my heart over it, I felt I needed to look at things from a different perspective. (Hebrews 12:15, “Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many”) I have always believed that it is possible to find something good in everything, but in this instance, perhaps I had not fully applied that principle. After doing so, this is a very short list of some of my insights:

We were poor: It taught me to be a hard worker.

My dad was physically abusive to my mother: It taught me what kind of guy “not” to marry.

My mom felt trapped in a bad marriage with no money to leave: It taught me to develop my own income and to provide for myself.

My father was an alcoholic, got trashed, played guitar and sang out of tune: It taught me how not to act when I was drinking!!!!! – well at least not to play guitar. Seriously though, I do think of how important it is not to let alcohol control your life and ultimately destroy you.

And the list goes on. This simple act seemed to lift the resentment instantly. This led me to another Bible verse. Philippians 4:19 And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.

If I were to make a list of every need I wanted my dad to fill, like being my financial advisor for example (not that I have a need for that, but you get the point), I can name someone God has placed in my life to fill that very need. Not an individual, but several men, ranging from my husband, my brothers, friends and even a boss or two. Once the responsibility of my dad meeting my needs according to my vision of the way it was suppose to be was removed so was any resentment towards him for not doing so. It also opened my heart to see him with more empathy and to understand he did the best he could with what he was given. I hurt more for him now that I ever did. I wish he could have realized his full potential and successfully battled the demons that eventually destroyed him.

I hope I can take what I learned here and apply it in other areas of my life. We live in a fallen world and therefore, people will always hurt you. I just need to remember to “Let Go and Let God.”