How to Have a Miserable Life in 7 Easy Steps.

Have you already given up on your New Year’s Resolutions? They sounded great when you made them. They were so inspiring. So challenging. Maybe you posted even them on your refrigerator or on FaceBook.

But now, four weeks in, they are just too much work. You have gone back to your old habits. Well, I am with you. Enough of all that hard work, disciple, and “first things first” junk.

Take the easy path. Its easy. And here is the amazing part, you don’t even have to try! So, before I loose you to text messaging, FaceBook, or email, put your reality-defying, mind-numbing, alternate-reality glasses on because here is How to Have a Miserable Life in 7 Easy Steps.

1. Hang around people who constantly make bad choices. It will rub off on you. Before you know it, you will think it is normal and wonder why more people are not like you.
2. Make stupid choices and then blame God, your family, the poe poe, the stars, or whoever. Just ignore Proverbs 19:3, “People ruin their lives by their own foolishness and then are angry at the Lord.” That is not you. No. Not you.
3. Only listen to your own advice. After all, no one could possibly be smarter than you. Proverbs 18:2 does not apply to you, “Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinion.”
4. If your life isn’t working, go faster. You are far too busy to be bothered with such questions as “Where are we going?”
5. Avoid discipline at all cost; after all, being a lazy, loud-mouth, know-it-all is very attractive.
6. Ignore the important people and responsibilities in your life: Everyone understands how important you are and they will not hold it against you.
7. Talk, dream, promise, and wish for the best, just don’t actually DO anything. 

Now, if for some reason you have decided to give reality a chance, ignore these 7 steps. They are really bad advice.Terrible in fact. So bad all you need to do is do the exact opposite of what I said and you will have a pretty good life.

Take for example Step 1: Consider this as an opposite reality: “If you and your friends qualify for a reality show, you probably need new friends.”

Or how about this as an antidote to Step 2: “Everything happens for a reason: Sometimes the reason is you made a really bad decision.”

You get the point. Now, go ahead, try it yourself. Take each step and come up with something that is the exact opposite. That voice you hear will be reality calling.

Now, get up and get going. Life is waiting for you.