Why I Almost Cancelled My Podcast.

Somewhere along the way a crazy idea lodged itself in my head: I should start a podcast.

A podcast. Yeah, right. I can’t stand the sound of my own voice. I have tried to listen to recordings of myself. I cringe every time.

But I decided to do the podcast anyway. I thought it would be fun. I asked my daughter Elizabeth to help me (i.e. do all the work), and she said yes.

A friend recorded a theme song.

We worked with a designer for the show cover.

I recorded a few shows.

Then five days ago I had a meltdown and almost pulled the plug on the whole idea.

What happened? What could cause me to want abandon it before we had even begun?

Well, it’s simple really: I listened to the podcast.

I thought, “This is so lame. No one will listen. This will not help anyone. What a waste. I hate the way I sound on here. It sucks!”

I was in Kyiv, Ukraine. I worked out a time to do a Skype call with my producer (ahem, my daughter Elizabeth), I told her of my frustration with the program. I told her, “I sound terrible!”

She said, “Oh, Dad, everyone hates the sound of their voice.” Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. I know. But this is different. This is my voice. I really do hate it.

I was being paralyzed by self-rejection and the fear of failure.

These two destructive currents have shipwrecked many lives that set out with good intentions.

Talking it through with Elizabeth helped. I climbed off the ledge and I put away the sharp objects. I told myself, “We can do this. It may be helpful to others. Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.”

I took a deep breath and said, “OK, let’s do this.”

I had the desire to do something more to help others, to advance a cause, and to make a difference. Then a two-headed monster walked right into my head. Their twin mouths crippled me with fear and almost talked me out of taking action. It all sounded so rational. It felt like good advice.

I could keep my good intentions that someday I would do something that makes a difference for someone.

I was free to dream all I want for tomorrow. Intend all I want for tomorrow. Hope all I want for tomorrow. Just don’t act on these things today. Nope. Fear and self-rejection tag-teamed to defeat life at the only place it can be lived: Today, in the nitty-gritty of now.

[Tweet “God’s purpose is too great for small living and wilted thinking.”]

I had to tell myself, “Hating your own voice and fearing failure never helped anyone do anything great.”

Then I told myself to:

1. Embrace your voice. It may not be perfect, but it is what God gave you. Now, use it to the fullest for His glory.
2. Face your fear. Call it for what it is and deal with it. You may need some help. A good conversation with a friend can do wonders.
3. Take action. What is the one action you need to take right now to overcome the fear that is belittling you? Define the action. Now, go do it.

Done. Done. And Done. Self-rejection and fear were left on the floor in Kyiv. The podcast starts Monday, September 15, 2014.

Maybe you can relate to my struggle. What new venture is in your heart? What act of self-rejection is stopping you? What fear is paralyzing you? What one action do you need to take right now to liberate your imprisoned dreams and say to your paralyzed life, “No more! Today I will act!”

It’s your life, now go live it.

Here is a video introduction for the podcast. Look for it in iTunes on Monday, September 15, 2014.