I was truly ashamed of myself. Embarrassed that such a thought would even enter my mind. It was so ungodly.
To make matters worse, overcoming this very thing has been a key focus of my Lenten prayers. Every day since January 15 I have been praying,
O Lord and Master of My Life!
Take from me the spirit of sloth, faintheartedness
Lust for power, and idle talk.
Give rather the spirit of chastity, humility,
Patience and love to Your servant.
Yes, O Lord and King!
Grant me to see my own error
And not to judge my brother.
For You are blessed unto ages of ages. Amen.
I pray it daily, fervently, from my heart, and yet still here is my darkness bursting forth in full display.
Each week I have been focusing on different aspects of this ancient prayer.
You may want to check out my previous postings:
Chastity May Not Be What You Think It Is
The Bible Secret to Outrageous Success
The last two weeks I have been focusing on “give me a spirit of patience and love.” It is so easy to ask for and so hard to cultivate. I saw this on full display last week.
I was with a friend in South Holland in the Netherlands. We were stopped at a traffic light when the driver in front of us jumped out of his car and opened the back door to retrieve something from the backseat. Both hands trembled with a neurological disorder. It was clear to see.
Rather than having patience and compassion, I thought to myself, “Oh great, this is going to take forever. We will probably miss our chance at the light because this guy’s trying to get something from his back seat, and look at his hands shake. This could take a while.”
It was then this prayer did its work in my heart.
The man in front of me is suffering from a horrible and debilitating disorder that causes his hands to shake uncontrollably. Without doubt it has affected every area of his life.
Yet here I am worried we are going to have to sit through another cycle of the traffic light.
It was so petty of me. It was so typical of me.
I am not a patient man. This is not a virtue. It is a debilitating vice that dehumanizes and reduces others while justifying and excusing myself.
Because I have a broken, incomplete, and distorted knowledge of everything, I measure all things by my own standards, taste, desires, and self.
God, on the other hand, is patient precisely because he sees all things as they truly are.
Patience is the exact opposite of “the lust for power.”
It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city. Proverbs 16:32 NLT
The New Testament uses two Greek words we translate as “patient.” The first word is makrothumia. It can be translated as “long-suffering.” The second word is hupomona. It can be translated “steadfastness.”
Consistently throughout the New Testament makrothumia is used in reference to how we treat people. We are to be long-suffering. God is said to be “long-suffering.”
Hupomona is used when talking about how we respond to things and situations. We have “steadfastness.” We remain in place; the things around us do not move us.
The essence of patience is when facing difficult people we do not lose our tempter and when facing difficult circumstances we do not lose our courage.
As a follower of Jesus I want to grow in faith, become mature, complete, whole, undamaged, intact, blameless, perfect, full grown, and a fully developed adult in Christ. The Apostle James tells me how to achieve this:
“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (James 1:2–4, ESV)
This is similar to Romans 5:3, where Paul says, “we rejoice in our suffering…”
I rejoice in my trials because the trials will show me the “facture points” in my soul. When I lose my temper with others or lose my courage through situations I am finding the weak spots of my inner world.
Think of it as an exacting German engineer testing and re-testing because he wants the finished product to become perfect, complete, lacking nothing, full grown, and fully matured.
I can “count it all joy” because I know the test will produce steadfastness. This steadfastness will work deep inside of me to produce character that is perfect and complete, lacking nothing: It is fully grown into love.
That day last week in the Netherlands revealed something dark in me I do not like. Yet God has brought it into the light and he will bring it into wholeness. For this I rejoice and count it all joy.
And I continue to pray,
“Give rather the spirit of chastity, humility, patience and love to your servant.”
To be continued…
Debbie and I serve as the FMI Global Associate Director for MENACA and Europe. We focus on cultivating disciples, leaders, and church planting movements.
