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Every day since January 15, I have been praying,
O Lord and Master of My Life!
Take from me the spirit of sloth, faintheartedness
Lust for power, and idle talk.
Give rather the spirit of chastity, humility,
Patience and love to Your servant.
Yes, O Lord and King!
Grant me to see my own error
And not to judge my brother.
For You are blessed unto ages of ages. Amen.
I have not been praying it as some “vain repetition,” thinking that if I pray it enough times it will eventually tip the scales of heaven in my favor. No, prayer is not about trying to get God to see things my way. Pray is about trying to get me to see things God’s way.
So every day I have been using this ancient prayer to help mold my inner character. I have shared some of this journey with you through this blog.
I Surrender My Darkness, pt. 2
Chastity May Not Be What You Think It Is
The Bible Secret to Outrageous Success
Brought to Light, Brought to Wholeness
The prayer is reaching its crescendo: the climax of the spiritual pursuit to tame the inner animal, to love others, and to know God.
Help me to see my own errors and not to judge my brother
The Prayer of St. Ephrem keeps in tandem my inner and outer world. It teaches me that my inner world of sloth and faintheartedness will lead my outer world to “lust for power and idle talk.”
Ephrem taught me that my inner chastity and humility would guide me along the path toward patience and love for others.
I have found the introspection of this prayer to be painful at times. Daily laying my whole person before the Lord, King, and Master of my life reminds me of something Dietrich Bonhoeffer said, “When Christ calls a man he bids him, ‘Come, and die.’”
This introspection is not about going deeper into one’s own navel. Rather, it is an honest assessment of our truest condition that leads us to know we need grace.
Help me to see my own errors
Errors. Such an easy word to roll off my tongue, almost like saying, ”I tried, but I made a mistake. It’s no big deal.”
When you are truly wrestling with yourself, with that part of you known only to yourself and God– known to yourself in part, known to God in totality– you find things hidden in the dark corners.
This is the key point about introspection: we are to see ourselves as we truly are and yet not hate what we see.
Help me to see my own errors
Help me to see where I go astray. Help me to see where I miss the mark. I have no room to boast, no platform from which to declare my own righteousness. When I see my own errors it deals pride a mortal blow.
Seeing my own errors moves me to call for grace, mercy, and compassion. I cry out as one justly condemned. I have no argument. I have no defense.
The only thing I contribute to my salvation is the sin from which I need deliverance.
It is visceral. It is that form of prayer that can only be called a cry. Like the crowd piercing cry of blind Bartimaeus, I plead, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me.” My pride has blinded me. I want to see again.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God. Have mercy on me, a sinner.
How much of my own life do I really want to see? I want to see enough to keep me humble but not so much as to make me depressed.
Duly humbled by grace I remove myself from sitting in judgment over others.
“Help not to judge my brother.”
The singular word “brother” has been very prickly with me.
These days it has hounded me. It gave me no place to hide. It is specific and direct.
It is easy to love humanity; it is specific people who are hard to love.
This singular word “brother” keeps pushing me into the corner. This is not some general amnesty for humanity, it is specific to Dan, or Tim, or Sergey, or Valerie. It is that person right there in front of me who at this very moment I want to judge.
Ephrem being dead still speaks to me through this prayer.
Our Lenten journey is coming to an end. I feel it has passed too quickly. I have barely scratched the surface of this ancient prayer. Sadder still, it has barely scratched the surface of my heart and life.
The season is ending but the journey is not over. We remain going from glory to glory and from faith to faith. Our hope and ambition are wrapped up into Him who is all things, the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning, and the end, the Lord, the King, and the Master of my life. Amen.
Debbie and I serve as the FMI Global Associate Director for MENACA and Europe. We focus on cultivating disciples, leaders, and church planting movements.
